Articles tagged: Political spin

Australian researchers discover the heaviest element known to man

January 31, 2010

This report came to me by email, so it must be true. Queens University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which... More

Afghan elections declared free but not fair by EU fudgepackers

August 23, 2009

While resisting the temptation to say ‘we told you so’ (Thus passim) – it is glaringly evident that, as predicted, the Afghan elections were neither free nor fair. Except that by an extraordinary contortion of logic and semantics, the EU monitors have declared that they were ‘generally fair but not free.’ Well, thanks for putting our minds at ease, General Philippe Morillon. Some of us mistakenly thought that the objective was to hold elections that would give the Afghan people an equal opportunity to democratically determine who should run their... More

Should the Tories gag their inglourious basterds?

August 15, 2009

However good they are at wonking, David Cameron’s progressive Tories are continually belaboured by own goals from their own side. Just as the inhabitants of duck island were gingerly winding down the drawbridge on the moat, Alan Duncan upset the golf cart. The Shadow Leader of the Commons and representative on the Estimates Committee, set up to reform MPs’ expenses, who had repaid £4000.00 claimed for gardening expenses including – the horror! – a posh lawnmower, was filmed complaining that the new regime obliged MPs to live ‘on rations.’ Duncan... More