Articles tagged: by John J Kelly

It’s official! Parasite blogging bastards have killed print journalism

May 20, 2009

Hold the front page – on second thoughts, don’t bother. There won’t be one to hold much longer. That bloody web thingy has eaten our journalists. Everything we hold dear – the right to be told what to think by poker-arsed blowhards in the pay of Illuminati kingmakers, fed and watered by PR lizards in the pay of big business – has been stolen by . . . . Market Forces. 60 million oiky bloggers, ranting on about whatever takes their fancy are about as welcome in the Press Club... More

Clown Fever has mutated and become a pandemic, for at least a week more

May 4, 2009

Health warning and disclaimer: I have no idea whatsoever about Swine Fever, in common with most, but that won’t stop me. Ring a special number if you have any flu-like symptoms, such as a runny nose, red eyes or a headache. These symptoms are consistent with taking Bolivian Marching Powder and/or getting bladdered. So if you’ve been out on the lash at the weekend, just ring into work and explain your flu-like symptoms in an artifically croaky voice like you do most Mondays. Thus has belatedly contracted Clown Fever, a... More