Things can only get better

Exclusive: More prizes ahead for Obama

October 12, 2009

Barack Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize, decided by an eminent panel of brown nosing illuminati in February 2009, less than a month after his inauguration, has been unfairly criticised by spoilsports and racists, determined to diss the US and generally keep a good man down. What will they say when it is revealed that has also scooped the prestigious UK Strictly Come Dancing award? Although Obama hasn’t entered, or declared any intention of doing so, clearly he should win on the grounds that if he did, he would be a perfect role model, leading to a spontaneous rise in ballroom dancing amongst world leaders. Tripping the light fantastic in taffeta and tails would be infinitely preferable to watching the G8 gargoyles justify pointless invasions, carpet bombing – now with drones – civilian populations, replacing genocidal kleptocracies seemingly at random with narco-genocidal kleptocracies, all in the in the name of fantasy ideologies and corporate plunder.

This is not to denigrate the Nobel Peace Prize. Previous US winners have included Henry Kissinger, without whose efforts Agent Orange or Pol Pot might just as well have been the names of household detergents. And let’s not forget Kofi Annan – crazy name, crazy guy – whose inspired and proactive UN leadership during a global upsurge of genocide and unrest – er – did fuck all to stop anything. So far, Obama has not closed down Guantanamo and has fudged the issue of outlawing US sponsored torture. He is poised to enthrone a blatantly corrupt warlord and stands on the brink of escalating the Afghan conflict into a full-blown war which carries no prospect of ‘victory’ for the US or anyone else. He regularly condones the use of pre-emptive murder of political opponents in foreign countries – drone bombing in Pakistan and Somalia, for example. He was notoriously silent on the Gaza atrocities and is turning a blind eye to Israel’s cruel, illegal East Jerusalem land grabs designed to provoke a third ‘final solution’ Intifada, while blathering about peace in the Middle East. Paradoxically, and probably for all the wrong reasons, Netanyahu is doing a far better job of facing down the extremists, but he’s no John Lennon.

A token prize to a token President who deems destroying Afghanistan part of a ‘necessary war’ on the grounds that eight years earlier the (Saudi) perpetrators of 9/11 lived there, while still fawning at the feet of the country which provided 17 of the 19 known terrorists involved and funds Wahabbist hate regimes sets a fine example to warmongers everywhere. Whatever next? Tony Blair as President of Europe? Or is that too far-fetched?