You can get rid of dogshit. As I was picking up dog mess on Hampstead Heath recently – my own dog’s mess, I hasten to add – my thoughts naturally turned to ‘Lord’ Peter Mandelson and the current Labour Party leadership crisis. The image of this creature selling his interminable, self-serving, platitudinous and badly-written account [...]
Category Archives: Political spin
Conclusive evidence that Oxbridge produces financially illiterate, lying sociopaths.
May 24, 2010 – 8:40 pm
Ed Balls went to Oxbridge, thus making him eminently eligible to lead ‘New’ Labour through its next incarnation as the Pinochio Party. Then again, so did all the other ‘contenders’ as did most of the Coalition cabinet, but let’s stick with Balls for a minute . . . .
Methadrone IS dangerous. Knock it on the head right now
March 29, 2010 – 12:12 pm
Shilly-shallying about what to do about Chinese designer ‘plant food’ drug Methadrone/Mephedrone/MCat is another unwelcome example of how New Labour’s passive/aggressive approach towards protecting citizens’ rights does the reverse. It’s enough to drive a man to spliff. Last October, former NL drug czar, the (perhaps) aptly named Professor David Nutt resigned/was sacked from the Advisory Council [...]
Australian researchers discover the heaviest element yet known to science
January 31, 2010 – 9:35 am
This report came to me by email, so it must be true. Queens University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together [...]
The Yellow Peril have executed one of our heroin smugglers. Send in the gunboats.
December 31, 2009 – 8:16 pm
Clearly the Chinese government has a poor grasp of history. Last time they tried to stop English dope peddlers we sent gunboats up the Yellow River and pounded their Mandarin asses until they agreed to be addicted to opium. In those great days we were helped by the US, then Imperial apprentices, now big swinging [...]
Afghan elections declared free but not fair by EU fudgepackers
August 23, 2009 – 11:54 am
While resisting the temptation to say ‘we told you so’ (Thus passim) – it is glaringly evident that, as predicted, the Afghan elections were neither free nor fair. Except that by an extraordinary contortion of logic and semantics, the EU monitors have declared that they were ‘generally fair but not free.’ Well, thanks for putting [...]
Should the Tories gag their inglourious basterds?
August 15, 2009 – 9:41 am
However good they are at wonking, David Cameron’s progressive Tories are continually belaboured by own goals from their own side. By John J Kelly. Just as the inhabitants of duck island were gingerly winding down the drawbridge on the moat, Alan Duncan upset the golf cart. The Shadow Leader of the Commons and representative on [...]
How the Tories wordgrabbed Progessive and sent Mandy Mental
August 12, 2009 – 2:16 pm
Yesterday, unlike ‘Lord’ Mandelson, I saw George Osborne deliver his case for the Tories as the party of ‘Progressive Politics” at centre-left Demos think tank HQ. The hounhymns were confounded. Phil Collins – no, not the former drummer of progressive rock group Genesis but the former speechwriter for failed prog rock singer, Tony (Ugly Rumours) [...]
Pay attention, class. This is an important revision course on UK student tuition fees
July 26, 2009 – 11:21 pm
Both Labour and Tories are backing plans to more than double student tuition fees to £7000 within four years. Labour shamelessly abandoned its 2001 election manifesto promise that ‘it will not introduce top-up fees and has legislated against them’ – then introduced them in 2004. The Dearing Report, commissioned in 1996 under Tory PM ‘Sir’ [...]
All things considered, Labour is finished. Next question?
July 25, 2009 – 11:35 pm
The Tories overturned a 5459 Labour majority by 7,348 votes in the Norwich by-election on Thursday in a decisive and pivotal victory. Their turnout was 6% lower than expected, but 70% of the Labour constituency stayed at home watching Big Brother. The Lib Dems came third as usual, giving the lie to those who perennially hope that [...]