What’s the difference between Mandelson and dogshit?

You can get rid of dogshit.

The UK Labour Party leadership election machine

As I was picking up dog mess on Hampstead Heath recently – my own dog’s mess, I hasten to add – my thoughts naturally turned to ‘Lord’ Peter Mandelson and the current Labour Party leadership crisis. The image of this creature selling his interminable, self-serving, platitudinous and badly-written account of the rise and fall of New Labour in a cheap TV commercial makes whippet turds look positively enticing.

Others have commented at length on the iniquity and hypocrisy of Mandelson’s admission that he knew Brown was a sociopathic, authoritarian blobby sack of neuroses with no right, sanction or business to be running a whelk stall, much less a country, yet he urged the party and the country to vote for him all the same. Mandelson quotes Blair’s opinion that Brown was ‘mad, bad and dangerous’ and does little to disagree with this kind assessment of the co-architect of the ‘Project.’ On these grounds alone the twice-sacked, expenses-happy, oligarch-friendly Blair mongerer should be picked up on the Heath and incinerated along with the rest of the mess.

Mandelson’s artless display shows his unashamed addiction to perfidy and intrigue. More Gollum than Machiavelli, he is unquestionably playing a leading role in the farcical ‘campaign’ to ‘elect’ a new leader of the Opposition. My guess, despite protestations to the contrary, is that he’s behind Banana Boy David Miliband. For that reason alone, whoever has the power should vote for brother Ed.

In passing, Thus predicted Mandelson’s resurgence as kingmaker , with no enthusiasm, back in April 2009. Before he completes the job of completely destroying Labour, we should perhaps reflect on whether this was what he and Blair planned all along. There is no other plausible excuse for his actions.

John J Kelly